November 1, 2014

Dirk is on hiatus from the band.

He is currently in India looking for the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.

His goal is NOT to study Transcendental Meditation but to meet Prudence Farrow.

Prudence, as you might know, was the inspiration for John Lennon's song entitled Dear Prudence.

Unfortunately Dirk doesn't know that the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi died in 2008 in the Netherlands and Prudence Farrow now lives in Seagrove Beach, Florida.

The rumor is that he also wants to track down Keith Richards and somehow, in only 24 hours, grok all the talent that Keith has.

Good luck there, Dirk.

So... maybe he'll come back to the band and maybe not.

We don't know what condition his brain will be in after failing miserably in his quest to better himself during his hiatus.

Only time will tell...

Dirk was born on his birthday some time ago.

His extremely strict upbringing directly contributed to his love of music and his current shoe size.

The first musical instrument Dirk played was a dirt clod.

Needless to say it never resulted in sounds that would not offend your ear.

Dirk eventually lived long enough to attend high school.

Not being very good at any sporting activity he decided to play piano in his high school marching band.

Four years later he went away to college and developed his musical chops even more by playing records, tapes and the radio.

After graduating from college, Dirk searched for a musical instrument that he could use to express his inner melodic self. After seeing a video of Keith Richards clobbering a fan who rushed the stage with his Fender Telecaster, he knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to clobber people with a Fender Telecaster while balloons dropped around him.

So, he bought a Yamaha acoustic guitar and a bunch of basket balls (Dirk wasn't very bright).

Long story short, Dirk has now settled in as one of the world's best guitar players (at least in Dirks feeble mind).

Dirk is also the true leader of the band.

When he is not leading the band, Dirk keeps busy growing casaba melons, stealing PEZ dispensers from little kids, collecting walrus pubic hairs, playing dead, appearing in the background on TV and updating his personal web site -