Nasty

Nasty, aka Barry, was born at a very early age in a British National Health hospital. This explains a lot.

He was a wonderful child. He knows this because people would say, there’s Barry, I wonder about him…

He first picked up guitar at the age of 5, but put it down before he broke it. He later tried picking up piano but that was too heavy, so he picked up guitar again at age 16. He taught himself to play. This also explains a lot.

After struggling for many years with the guitar, his band mates Dirk and Wench advised him to play bass guitar. This was not because they thought he may be any good at it, but because there are fewer strings to confuse him. He also plays mandolin which has eight strings, but that’s ok because they are always played in pairs.

One of Nasty’s characteristics is an amazing sense of timing. Many times the band has been totally amazed at his ability to invent brand new and complex time signatures, on the fly and without warning. The fact that he does this while the rest of the band is playing in strict 4/4 time just makes them all the more full of awe of him. In fact the term “awe full” has been used many times to describe his brilliant playing.

Nasty has a keen scientific mind and is interested in the physics of music. He once borrowed Schrodinger’s cat to perform a furrier analysis of his guitar sound. Unfortunately, Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle prevented him from making any new discoveries, as he was always uncertain as to what note he was actually playing.

Nasty is happily married to his beautiful, patient and long-suffering wife Ann, and regrets the disappointment that the hordes of groupies must feel about this situation.

Nasty thinks he is the leader of the band.